Relationships

Dear Family and Friends, August 15, 2005

The Lord has called me to write another letter to share some of what I have been learning about relationships. I have been attending a small group at church that studied and talked about dating, dating as a Christian, and the boundaries in dating. After my divorce, I did some dating, but I have never been satisfied with any of my male relationships. They had always ended in hurt, a dependence on that person, or worse, a loss of a good friend. Let's face it, when you cross the line physically and get involved with the opposite sex on a physical level, things change with the relationship.

As a Christian, I have discovered the importance of starting a love affair with Christ first before dating. This is easier said then done, as most of us, including myself don't really seek the Lord and start our love affairs for the Lord until things go wrong in our relationships. How do we have a love affair with the Lord? Here are some starters that can help:

· Love him with all your heart, soul, and mind.
· Talk to him regularly through prayer.
· Worship him alone and with other believers.
· Seek his guidance through prayer.
· Recognize his work through you and other believers.
· Share his mercy and grace to all others.
· Be humble and repent of your sin.
· Study his word, the Bible.
· Model your life after his son Jesus Christ.

A love affair with the Lord will make all of your relationships stronger, longer lasting, and not ever dependent. We still will have struggles in relationships, sometimes we even need to set some boundaries for them. We must realize that hormones bring many feelings such as jealousy, fear, anger, resentment, shame, guilt, envy, and even hate. I personally don't like to feel any of these emotions, but I am human, and realize these emotions can arise normally in all relationships. I am in constant prayer with our heavenly father who teaches me and shows me how to deal with these emotions. Satan can also twist, manipulate, and turn these emotions against you, where you slowly begin to want to destroy yourself. If you are a person who has struggled with any of these emotions, it probably began to affect your relationships, not with just the opposite sex but all relationships. I like the way Pastor Rick Warren put it:

"This life is a practice for an eternity of love. It's like spring training in the game of baseball: we're practicing our love for one another NOW, strengthening our skills, preparing for the World Series of Love in heaven."

Rick Warren, "Better Together: What on earth are we here for?"

"Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

John 13:35

This life is about learning to love. And this is not an easy task, it will take lots of time, effort, honesty, some vulnerability, and most important, the ability to forgive to make any relationship work. God so loved us that he gave his only son, who died for our sins. He showed us how to forgive; therefore there should be no problem for us to be able to forgive in our own relationships.

"Be full of love for others, following the example of Christ who loved you and gave himself to God as a sacrifice to take away your sins."

Ephesians 5:2

As we look at all our relationships, let us look at our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. As Christians, we need to put the Lord first above all relationships and allow that experience and that bond to glow through us into all our relationships. Loving the Lord can be giving up your preferences, your goals, your comfort, your security, your money, your energy, and your time, but the reward of being able to love for eternity is worth the sacrifice.

Having any problems in any of your relationships? How is your love affair with the Lord? He can help you in any of those problems. Recognize that God cherishes his relationships with his children and loves the human relationships that we build. Satan will use every weapon of wickedness necessary to break them up. When we try to meet our own needs in relationships we use what Apostle Paul called the "weapons of the flesh", these include manipulation, gossip, slander, ridicule, threats, blame, nagging, deception, and silence. All of these "weapons of the flesh" is only using the evil for evil principle where no one wins and relationships are severed.

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he is thirsty, give him a drink, for by doing this you will make him burn with shame. Do not let evil defeat you: instead, conquer evil with good."

Romans 12:20-21

This whole chapter of Romans is one of my most favorites in the Bible, and the last two lines show us the importance of killing them with kindness. Thank you for reading the entire letter, for those that read this far and are not yet asleep. I want to thank the Lord for this opportunity to write to my family and friends and for the knowledge given to me through the Bible, Rick Warren, and my small groups. Thank -you Lord for the truth that saves us all. May we all pursue you in a love affair that will make all of our other relationships prosper, allow us to grow spiritually, and be able to love for eternity. Amen

I love you all, and God bless


Tonya